Thomas Henderson
2007-12-18 19:10:24 UTC
Hello, my name is Tom and I am a friend of Bill Buckley's. I'm a new poster
to this board, but have lurked for a little while. Finally configured
Outlook Express so I could read/post without some of the aggravating spam on
Google groups. Sorry but I have no anime characters
to offer; anime characters creep me out. And while I am sure I am being
hideously persecuted by MI5, they are so sneaky that I have no knowledge or
realization of their devious schemes.
Anyways, this past weekend (Dec 14-15) I was invited to join Bill and friend
Sam at Dollywood in Tennessee to experience their annual Smoky Mountain
Christmas celebration. It was my first time to ever go to Dollywood as
well, so all was new to me. I live in Central Florida, so it was also my
first time going to a park in 'real' cold weather. Flew into Knoxville, and
I compliment them on their airport. It's very comfortable inside, with nice
touches of stone around the gates, rocking chairs by big windows, and a cool
mountain stream/waterfall with "Santa bears" leading from the gates to the
main terminal. Buck was delayed in arrival by the first of the 2 big
EastCoast storms (perhaps MI5 persecution using their evil weather
disgronificator?), but finally flew in around 10 on Friday morning. Worked
out, since Dollywood did not open until 2 PM on Friday.
So, after lunch and the drive to Pigeon Forge we arrived quite early to
parking, and were admitted around 1:30. Weather: Clear and upper 50s - no
wind. Poifect! A word about ticketing: I purchased a 1-Day Ticket at AAA
in Florida, for $42 after tax. Needed a 2nd day, but an upgrade to Season
Pass was only $25 in the park. No brainer. It's good thru Jan 3, 2009. So,
my inadvertent gaming of the system got me a year + 3 weeks for $67, vs. the
$75 which I would have paid at the park if I had waited and bought a pass
there. Anyways, into the park... Bill directs us to the left (towards
"Timber Canyon") upon entry, and we start up the hill towards Thunderhead.
Lots of short topiary bears who are playing with colorful Christmas ornament
balls, attractive purple berry wreaths on light poles, and (live) Christmas
trees everywhere up the hill. Very beautiful traditional carols playing on
the park sound system emanating from rocks with hidden speakers. Had to
wait at a rope until 2 pm, when the lady park attendant dropped it with a
plea to not run her over. And we're off, up the hill, and make our way to
the far back, destination Mystery Mine.
MYSTERY MINE: We go in, up the stairs, and there is a small line. Meander
thru to discover that we are destined to be "second seat riders". Boo.
They have their "no front seat request" policy posted all over the place.
The way it worked for us was that a woman in a wheelchair was in front of us
and was placed in the front row. I guess they asked her if she wanted to
ride more than once, and she did, so we did ride twice this time, without
getting out of the car. My impression of the ride was that they tried to do
too much with it and it is sort of a mess. It almost seems as if it's more
'stop' than 'go'. They brake you all over the place, which is supposed to
play into the storyline, except there is so much noise and obstruction from
the front seats that you really can't follow the "plot". Also, despite
their dire warnings about "theatrical fog", that effect was turned off or
broken-whatever, so there was none of that especially where the big roller
crusher is supposed to be dropping down on you. You also lose the story when
you stop before the first vertical lift hill and sit watching the chain go
up until it finally grabs your car and you go up. The pause there is too
long and then you brake again at the top, when you expect a big drop. The
drop after the second lift/'explosion' is the best along with, finally, some
good swoops and speed. However, just as you are returning into the station
there is a nasty combination of strong brake and little hop hill, which
combined together with the seat restraints to give me the effect of a kick
in the ****s. Thanks a lot Dolly! Maybe intensified by the extra clothes I
was wearing or my anatomy, but it was NOT pleasant for me. On the second go
around I could anticipate it and adjust, but the first time really surprised
me. On Saturday we did finally manage to get ourselves in the front seat
row, and it is much better for the ride experience. Total rides over 2 days
= 4 or 5. Exit stage right, head for Thunderhead.
THUNDERHEAD: It's about 3PM and we go in direct to the front seat slot. We
have to wait for 2 parties ahead of us - no problem. So my first ride on
Thunderhead is front row-right seat. And it's all good. My only minor
complaint is that I was obedient to their "No Loose Items!" policy and
handed over my sunglasses to the attendant for keeping while riding. I wear
contact lenses, and the 70 mph wind with the dry winter air made me feel as
if my contacts would literally fly out of my eyes - not good. So I was
riding while squinting my eyes for protection. On Saturday I noticed other
riders who were being allowed glasses/sunglasses, so I kept mine on (ride
ops did not object - said nothing) and it made all the difference for me as
far as enjoyment of the ride goes. Thunderhead was delightfully smooth in
the front seat and we were getting nice airtime. Went back after dark when
Bill and Sam had the front seat and they declared that to be amazing airtime
and speed - best Thunderhead experience evah! for them. (perhaps Buckley
will elaborate?) I was in second seat and found that to be a completely
different experience. Ruff and thrashing. Sam confirmed my feeling about
the 2nd seat later. It was curious that there would be so much difference
from one seat to the next. I also had turns in the far back, and once in
the middle of the train but they were all much better than that 2nd seat.
Total rides - 6 or 7 over 2 days, I lost count. Bill asked me how it
compared to my 2007 Wood Poll #1 - El Toro (I have never been to Holiday
World or Knoebels - could not rate Voyage, Phoenix etc.) and I still cannot
decide. I only rode El Toro twice, so it's not as 'memorized' for me as
Thunderhead. Something for me to ponder for a while.
TIMBER TOWER: Well, it's right there between MM and Thunderhead. I was
uncertain about riding it, but went for it. I am glad I did. Bill had seat
issues this time due to heavy black leather jacket, so the ride op released
us and I had to jam Buck's restraint down. It wasn't a difficult thing to
get it to click, but for some unexplained reason the (very nice) ride op
said he could not do it, but I could. After I got accustomed to the ride
motion I enjoyed it, as well as the brief views of Thunderhead etc. The
special effects were all off for the winter, except for canned bear growls
and evil beaver laughter. No squirting water, thanks. Too bad the beavers
could not still pop up though. It was fun, with a nice long ride cycle.
I believe at this point we went back to the car and switched out jackets
etc. for the evening. My combination of thin Florida blood and a recent
attack of scrawniness was making me cold when in the shade. A lady in the
store seemed to think I was too bundled up, but I'm happy I put on the heavy
Carhartt ranch coat and gloves, especially later on. It is a different
experience to be so layered up with clothes at a park, but as the sun went
down, the temp dropped rapidly and I saw many people who were struggling for
warmth. Re-enter the park and head "right" this time. Pics in front of the
central Christmas tree, meandering thru the different areas that lead up to
the "Craftsman's Valley portion of the park. We took a long stop n' look at
the Robert F. Thomas Chapel in the park. It was still daylight but the sun
was obscured by mountains/trees so the Christmas lights were more evident.
I knew the chapel was there, but it was more beautiful than I expected. It
was nice to see how silent people became inside. Really beautiful. Another
nice touch was the strings of lights that were just laying in the fallen
leaves aside the hill. That little touch was striking.
BLAZING FURY: Biggest dud of the place, for me. Should be called Blazingly
Dreary. We enter after witnessing a small boy teeter and roll off of a 5
foot high stone wall onto hard ground below, right beside the entrance. The
dad was distracted by something (?) and we all just see this occur. Sam,
being an RN, lends assistance to the screaming child, whose mother
materializes from wherever she had been. I guess he was 'okay'; but was a
rather bizarre bit of unexpected drama. So, we enter thru thick clear vinyl
flaps like you are entering the produce refrigerator at Costco. WTF???
Still don't understand their purpose. Perhaps to contain the dreariness
inside the ride? We board (no wait at all) and I notice water on my floor.
Foreshadowing. Off we go, and the cars feel like metal wheels with
flattened spots riding on metal rails with sand on them. Rumble rumble
rumble, past the lamest vignettes I have seen in a long time. These suckers
look like someone threw them together in 1971 and they have not been touched
since. I would call them animatronics but they aren't. I keep waiting for
the "Fun!" to start, but it doesn't. You just keep going past these
supposed fiery scenes, except there is so much dust on them that it looks
like setting them on fire would actually do them a favor. Yeah yeah, I live
near Disney so I am spoiled by their animatronics, but still. This shtick
was not scary, not interesting, not fun. Finally we reach the dark
'coaster' (generous use of that word!) portion of the ride. I don't really
remember it, except that at some point I got smacked in the face with a
softball sized wad of water, which I suppose brought me out of the coma
which the previous parts of the ride had induced. So it mercifully ends and
we depart thru more vinyl flaps. Bill tries to convince me how there is a
large group of people who just love Blazing Fury, ride over and over, etc.
I wish someone could explain why. It's on to Tennessee Tornado, where I am
promised a ride which I will truly hate and make me ache. Great!...
TENNESSEE TORNADO: ...was...good. Yes, I actually enjoyed the ride. Should
I apologize? It was not 'Awesome!', but I did not hate it. I had heard
endlessly about the 'Ron Tumor Promise'; '...it's an Arrow! ew!', etc. Sam
refused to ride at all, saying he did not want to go to a chiropractor.
However, Buckley declares that I must ride it for my list, so he nobly
volunteers to martyr himself and ride with me. I'm not excited, and go thru
the empty queue area with a "get it over with" mentality. No wait for front
seat, so that's where we go. I do notice the train cars resemblance to
Great Am. Scream Mach. in NJ, and have some nasty flashbacks to that
experience. Anyway, we get in. Again, we are heavily bundled up for cold,
which proves necessary with the twilight wind. But it may have also been a
beneficial padding, a la bubble wrap? Ride departs, and we go down the tiny
drop and pass thru the fluorescent cavern of a maintenance shed, reminiscent
of Jiffy-Lube. Then we really go. Up the lift hill, still expecting the
worst, into the first drop...it's smooth! I mean it was a nice smooth ride,
as if it were on new soft vinyl wheels. I'm still expecting the 'horrible'
to occur, but it doesn't. It's cold, but I enjoy it. And Bill admitted it
was much smoother than he remembered/expected. He's still not a fan and did
not ride again, but I went for another turn in the back seat, and enjoyed it
again. No whiplash, no injuries, but some nice swooshing thru cold twilight
in the valley.
So, back down the hill thru Craftsman's Valley, and the twilight is really
bringing out the lights, which are everywhere. It's always my most favorite
time at any park, but the explosion of Christmas lights is something to
behold. There's a 75 foot tall deciduous tree completely covered in blue
LED lights, which is striking, behind the railroad trestle which is outlined
in white. The 'standard' Christmas trees, everywhere, explode into rainbows
of colors; some red, aqua, yellow, etc. Coming down the hill you just see
all this lighted color below, and it expands out as you walk. There's also
music around, and the crowds are in this part of the park. Lots of seasoned
citizens who are there for shows, not coasters. We bop over to the train
station and get on for the 6PM departure. The train has some lights on it,
but not like the park buildings etc. I guess it is 'Polar Express' themed
for the holidays, but that means it just has the music from that movie on
it. So, it goes and you see all these lights pass by, which is cool. There
are huge trees in all white lights with color light balls hanging from
branches. There's a huge tree in all multi-color lights. And near the
Timber Canyon walkway there is a deciduous tree in all red lights. Pass
Thunderhead, where it's maintenance barn has screaming cool-white
fluorescent lights which are annoying and you wonder "Don't they realize?"
that those lights totally distract from all the other beautiful holiday
lighting. Then up the hillside to "Dolly's cabin". But, it's dark now and
you cain't see nuttin! Someone is shining a cheap flashlight at some of
these mountain buildings but it does no good. Curious to me why they don't
have faux candlelight in the windows, or something? It's just so
'forgotten', even tho they are on the speakers pointing out these cabins
which you can't otherwise see. I mean, I bought a package of 6 battery LED
candle tealights at Home Depot for $4. Couldn't they do the same for the
holidays? Anyway, back down to the park and you re-enter the Land of
Lights, taking a full tour and loop around the Country Fair area. It's
freaking cold now, but I am happy with my heavy gear, while others seated
nearby are cringing to stay warm. Oh, and there's a crescent moon in clear
night sky. It's beautiful.
Depart the Polar Express Train, and see the ending of the Toyland lighted
parade. Again I am spoiled by Disney's excess, but it's a good effort and I
like the polar bear waving from the caboose at the end of the parade.
Wander thru the flatride Country Fair area, and we take a turn on the "Dizzy
Disc". I have no expectations, and Bill's expectations are low. We all get
on, they (literally) lock our butts in and...it's fast and fun. We all
enjoy it, and the ride cycle is quite long. Bill may correct me, but I
think he said it seemed like they ran it similarly to ones he rode in
Europe. Depart with no ill-effects in spite of the ride name. It was now
that we went back to Thunderhead for the night riding, which as mentioned
was the best. And no significant wait. Back down the hill to see the
conclusion of "Carol of the Trees". Lighted trees synchronized with music
and other effects, finishing with a burst of small fireworks. It's pretty
good.
Saturday was MUCH more crowded, but the rides were still rideable. Best
thing was that I got to ride Thunderhead with sunglasses on. Worst thing
was getting "Chili Cheese Ribbon Fries" for lunch. If you go, these look
interesting/appealing on the plate. Look at them, then move on. Do not
stop unless you wish to experience the "Revenge of the Chili Cheese Ribbon
Fries" which I experienced for the next 12 hours. We went to the "Christmas
in the Smokies" show/revue and it was very good. However, do not go if you
are a snotty, eager to be offended, a c l u jerk. You will hear the word
"Jesus" and it will not be in the form of cursing. Too bad, stay home. The
music was very good and I enjoyed all but the very end, when they jazzed up
Hark the Herald Angels, etc. I prefer those carols in a straightforward
way, not in jazzy mega-church dancing choir ways. Not a show spoiler at all
though. Good show.
3:15PM Saturday and we depart as promised rain begins. Back into the
congested
tackiness of Gatlinburg. That night we very much enjoyed the Christmas (not
'holiday'!) presentation at the "Country Tonight" theater in Pigeon Forge.
Sunday AM begins with a burst of snow for me (first snow I had seen
in???years) before heading back to the Knoxville airport. Buckley is again
persecuted by MI5 and has his flights cancelled/rebooked, but my persecution
consists of having my plane de-iced with orange Jello slime and my luggage
not making the connection in Hellanta. Pull into my driveway at 5:30 with
that "did this weekend really occur?" feeling!
So yes, I enthusiastically recommend Smoky Mountain Christmas. It's a crazy
time of year, I almost did not make it myself; but maybe plan now for next
year? You will have a good time. Thanks for reading and be gentle;
remember, I'm a virgin poster here :-) Merry Christmas to all, and to all
a good night.
-Tom
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to this board, but have lurked for a little while. Finally configured
Outlook Express so I could read/post without some of the aggravating spam on
Google groups. Sorry but I have no anime characters
to offer; anime characters creep me out. And while I am sure I am being
hideously persecuted by MI5, they are so sneaky that I have no knowledge or
realization of their devious schemes.
Anyways, this past weekend (Dec 14-15) I was invited to join Bill and friend
Sam at Dollywood in Tennessee to experience their annual Smoky Mountain
Christmas celebration. It was my first time to ever go to Dollywood as
well, so all was new to me. I live in Central Florida, so it was also my
first time going to a park in 'real' cold weather. Flew into Knoxville, and
I compliment them on their airport. It's very comfortable inside, with nice
touches of stone around the gates, rocking chairs by big windows, and a cool
mountain stream/waterfall with "Santa bears" leading from the gates to the
main terminal. Buck was delayed in arrival by the first of the 2 big
EastCoast storms (perhaps MI5 persecution using their evil weather
disgronificator?), but finally flew in around 10 on Friday morning. Worked
out, since Dollywood did not open until 2 PM on Friday.
So, after lunch and the drive to Pigeon Forge we arrived quite early to
parking, and were admitted around 1:30. Weather: Clear and upper 50s - no
wind. Poifect! A word about ticketing: I purchased a 1-Day Ticket at AAA
in Florida, for $42 after tax. Needed a 2nd day, but an upgrade to Season
Pass was only $25 in the park. No brainer. It's good thru Jan 3, 2009. So,
my inadvertent gaming of the system got me a year + 3 weeks for $67, vs. the
$75 which I would have paid at the park if I had waited and bought a pass
there. Anyways, into the park... Bill directs us to the left (towards
"Timber Canyon") upon entry, and we start up the hill towards Thunderhead.
Lots of short topiary bears who are playing with colorful Christmas ornament
balls, attractive purple berry wreaths on light poles, and (live) Christmas
trees everywhere up the hill. Very beautiful traditional carols playing on
the park sound system emanating from rocks with hidden speakers. Had to
wait at a rope until 2 pm, when the lady park attendant dropped it with a
plea to not run her over. And we're off, up the hill, and make our way to
the far back, destination Mystery Mine.
MYSTERY MINE: We go in, up the stairs, and there is a small line. Meander
thru to discover that we are destined to be "second seat riders". Boo.
They have their "no front seat request" policy posted all over the place.
The way it worked for us was that a woman in a wheelchair was in front of us
and was placed in the front row. I guess they asked her if she wanted to
ride more than once, and she did, so we did ride twice this time, without
getting out of the car. My impression of the ride was that they tried to do
too much with it and it is sort of a mess. It almost seems as if it's more
'stop' than 'go'. They brake you all over the place, which is supposed to
play into the storyline, except there is so much noise and obstruction from
the front seats that you really can't follow the "plot". Also, despite
their dire warnings about "theatrical fog", that effect was turned off or
broken-whatever, so there was none of that especially where the big roller
crusher is supposed to be dropping down on you. You also lose the story when
you stop before the first vertical lift hill and sit watching the chain go
up until it finally grabs your car and you go up. The pause there is too
long and then you brake again at the top, when you expect a big drop. The
drop after the second lift/'explosion' is the best along with, finally, some
good swoops and speed. However, just as you are returning into the station
there is a nasty combination of strong brake and little hop hill, which
combined together with the seat restraints to give me the effect of a kick
in the ****s. Thanks a lot Dolly! Maybe intensified by the extra clothes I
was wearing or my anatomy, but it was NOT pleasant for me. On the second go
around I could anticipate it and adjust, but the first time really surprised
me. On Saturday we did finally manage to get ourselves in the front seat
row, and it is much better for the ride experience. Total rides over 2 days
= 4 or 5. Exit stage right, head for Thunderhead.
THUNDERHEAD: It's about 3PM and we go in direct to the front seat slot. We
have to wait for 2 parties ahead of us - no problem. So my first ride on
Thunderhead is front row-right seat. And it's all good. My only minor
complaint is that I was obedient to their "No Loose Items!" policy and
handed over my sunglasses to the attendant for keeping while riding. I wear
contact lenses, and the 70 mph wind with the dry winter air made me feel as
if my contacts would literally fly out of my eyes - not good. So I was
riding while squinting my eyes for protection. On Saturday I noticed other
riders who were being allowed glasses/sunglasses, so I kept mine on (ride
ops did not object - said nothing) and it made all the difference for me as
far as enjoyment of the ride goes. Thunderhead was delightfully smooth in
the front seat and we were getting nice airtime. Went back after dark when
Bill and Sam had the front seat and they declared that to be amazing airtime
and speed - best Thunderhead experience evah! for them. (perhaps Buckley
will elaborate?) I was in second seat and found that to be a completely
different experience. Ruff and thrashing. Sam confirmed my feeling about
the 2nd seat later. It was curious that there would be so much difference
from one seat to the next. I also had turns in the far back, and once in
the middle of the train but they were all much better than that 2nd seat.
Total rides - 6 or 7 over 2 days, I lost count. Bill asked me how it
compared to my 2007 Wood Poll #1 - El Toro (I have never been to Holiday
World or Knoebels - could not rate Voyage, Phoenix etc.) and I still cannot
decide. I only rode El Toro twice, so it's not as 'memorized' for me as
Thunderhead. Something for me to ponder for a while.
TIMBER TOWER: Well, it's right there between MM and Thunderhead. I was
uncertain about riding it, but went for it. I am glad I did. Bill had seat
issues this time due to heavy black leather jacket, so the ride op released
us and I had to jam Buck's restraint down. It wasn't a difficult thing to
get it to click, but for some unexplained reason the (very nice) ride op
said he could not do it, but I could. After I got accustomed to the ride
motion I enjoyed it, as well as the brief views of Thunderhead etc. The
special effects were all off for the winter, except for canned bear growls
and evil beaver laughter. No squirting water, thanks. Too bad the beavers
could not still pop up though. It was fun, with a nice long ride cycle.
I believe at this point we went back to the car and switched out jackets
etc. for the evening. My combination of thin Florida blood and a recent
attack of scrawniness was making me cold when in the shade. A lady in the
store seemed to think I was too bundled up, but I'm happy I put on the heavy
Carhartt ranch coat and gloves, especially later on. It is a different
experience to be so layered up with clothes at a park, but as the sun went
down, the temp dropped rapidly and I saw many people who were struggling for
warmth. Re-enter the park and head "right" this time. Pics in front of the
central Christmas tree, meandering thru the different areas that lead up to
the "Craftsman's Valley portion of the park. We took a long stop n' look at
the Robert F. Thomas Chapel in the park. It was still daylight but the sun
was obscured by mountains/trees so the Christmas lights were more evident.
I knew the chapel was there, but it was more beautiful than I expected. It
was nice to see how silent people became inside. Really beautiful. Another
nice touch was the strings of lights that were just laying in the fallen
leaves aside the hill. That little touch was striking.
BLAZING FURY: Biggest dud of the place, for me. Should be called Blazingly
Dreary. We enter after witnessing a small boy teeter and roll off of a 5
foot high stone wall onto hard ground below, right beside the entrance. The
dad was distracted by something (?) and we all just see this occur. Sam,
being an RN, lends assistance to the screaming child, whose mother
materializes from wherever she had been. I guess he was 'okay'; but was a
rather bizarre bit of unexpected drama. So, we enter thru thick clear vinyl
flaps like you are entering the produce refrigerator at Costco. WTF???
Still don't understand their purpose. Perhaps to contain the dreariness
inside the ride? We board (no wait at all) and I notice water on my floor.
Foreshadowing. Off we go, and the cars feel like metal wheels with
flattened spots riding on metal rails with sand on them. Rumble rumble
rumble, past the lamest vignettes I have seen in a long time. These suckers
look like someone threw them together in 1971 and they have not been touched
since. I would call them animatronics but they aren't. I keep waiting for
the "Fun!" to start, but it doesn't. You just keep going past these
supposed fiery scenes, except there is so much dust on them that it looks
like setting them on fire would actually do them a favor. Yeah yeah, I live
near Disney so I am spoiled by their animatronics, but still. This shtick
was not scary, not interesting, not fun. Finally we reach the dark
'coaster' (generous use of that word!) portion of the ride. I don't really
remember it, except that at some point I got smacked in the face with a
softball sized wad of water, which I suppose brought me out of the coma
which the previous parts of the ride had induced. So it mercifully ends and
we depart thru more vinyl flaps. Bill tries to convince me how there is a
large group of people who just love Blazing Fury, ride over and over, etc.
I wish someone could explain why. It's on to Tennessee Tornado, where I am
promised a ride which I will truly hate and make me ache. Great!...
TENNESSEE TORNADO: ...was...good. Yes, I actually enjoyed the ride. Should
I apologize? It was not 'Awesome!', but I did not hate it. I had heard
endlessly about the 'Ron Tumor Promise'; '...it's an Arrow! ew!', etc. Sam
refused to ride at all, saying he did not want to go to a chiropractor.
However, Buckley declares that I must ride it for my list, so he nobly
volunteers to martyr himself and ride with me. I'm not excited, and go thru
the empty queue area with a "get it over with" mentality. No wait for front
seat, so that's where we go. I do notice the train cars resemblance to
Great Am. Scream Mach. in NJ, and have some nasty flashbacks to that
experience. Anyway, we get in. Again, we are heavily bundled up for cold,
which proves necessary with the twilight wind. But it may have also been a
beneficial padding, a la bubble wrap? Ride departs, and we go down the tiny
drop and pass thru the fluorescent cavern of a maintenance shed, reminiscent
of Jiffy-Lube. Then we really go. Up the lift hill, still expecting the
worst, into the first drop...it's smooth! I mean it was a nice smooth ride,
as if it were on new soft vinyl wheels. I'm still expecting the 'horrible'
to occur, but it doesn't. It's cold, but I enjoy it. And Bill admitted it
was much smoother than he remembered/expected. He's still not a fan and did
not ride again, but I went for another turn in the back seat, and enjoyed it
again. No whiplash, no injuries, but some nice swooshing thru cold twilight
in the valley.
So, back down the hill thru Craftsman's Valley, and the twilight is really
bringing out the lights, which are everywhere. It's always my most favorite
time at any park, but the explosion of Christmas lights is something to
behold. There's a 75 foot tall deciduous tree completely covered in blue
LED lights, which is striking, behind the railroad trestle which is outlined
in white. The 'standard' Christmas trees, everywhere, explode into rainbows
of colors; some red, aqua, yellow, etc. Coming down the hill you just see
all this lighted color below, and it expands out as you walk. There's also
music around, and the crowds are in this part of the park. Lots of seasoned
citizens who are there for shows, not coasters. We bop over to the train
station and get on for the 6PM departure. The train has some lights on it,
but not like the park buildings etc. I guess it is 'Polar Express' themed
for the holidays, but that means it just has the music from that movie on
it. So, it goes and you see all these lights pass by, which is cool. There
are huge trees in all white lights with color light balls hanging from
branches. There's a huge tree in all multi-color lights. And near the
Timber Canyon walkway there is a deciduous tree in all red lights. Pass
Thunderhead, where it's maintenance barn has screaming cool-white
fluorescent lights which are annoying and you wonder "Don't they realize?"
that those lights totally distract from all the other beautiful holiday
lighting. Then up the hillside to "Dolly's cabin". But, it's dark now and
you cain't see nuttin! Someone is shining a cheap flashlight at some of
these mountain buildings but it does no good. Curious to me why they don't
have faux candlelight in the windows, or something? It's just so
'forgotten', even tho they are on the speakers pointing out these cabins
which you can't otherwise see. I mean, I bought a package of 6 battery LED
candle tealights at Home Depot for $4. Couldn't they do the same for the
holidays? Anyway, back down to the park and you re-enter the Land of
Lights, taking a full tour and loop around the Country Fair area. It's
freaking cold now, but I am happy with my heavy gear, while others seated
nearby are cringing to stay warm. Oh, and there's a crescent moon in clear
night sky. It's beautiful.
Depart the Polar Express Train, and see the ending of the Toyland lighted
parade. Again I am spoiled by Disney's excess, but it's a good effort and I
like the polar bear waving from the caboose at the end of the parade.
Wander thru the flatride Country Fair area, and we take a turn on the "Dizzy
Disc". I have no expectations, and Bill's expectations are low. We all get
on, they (literally) lock our butts in and...it's fast and fun. We all
enjoy it, and the ride cycle is quite long. Bill may correct me, but I
think he said it seemed like they ran it similarly to ones he rode in
Europe. Depart with no ill-effects in spite of the ride name. It was now
that we went back to Thunderhead for the night riding, which as mentioned
was the best. And no significant wait. Back down the hill to see the
conclusion of "Carol of the Trees". Lighted trees synchronized with music
and other effects, finishing with a burst of small fireworks. It's pretty
good.
Saturday was MUCH more crowded, but the rides were still rideable. Best
thing was that I got to ride Thunderhead with sunglasses on. Worst thing
was getting "Chili Cheese Ribbon Fries" for lunch. If you go, these look
interesting/appealing on the plate. Look at them, then move on. Do not
stop unless you wish to experience the "Revenge of the Chili Cheese Ribbon
Fries" which I experienced for the next 12 hours. We went to the "Christmas
in the Smokies" show/revue and it was very good. However, do not go if you
are a snotty, eager to be offended, a c l u jerk. You will hear the word
"Jesus" and it will not be in the form of cursing. Too bad, stay home. The
music was very good and I enjoyed all but the very end, when they jazzed up
Hark the Herald Angels, etc. I prefer those carols in a straightforward
way, not in jazzy mega-church dancing choir ways. Not a show spoiler at all
though. Good show.
3:15PM Saturday and we depart as promised rain begins. Back into the
congested
tackiness of Gatlinburg. That night we very much enjoyed the Christmas (not
'holiday'!) presentation at the "Country Tonight" theater in Pigeon Forge.
Sunday AM begins with a burst of snow for me (first snow I had seen
in???years) before heading back to the Knoxville airport. Buckley is again
persecuted by MI5 and has his flights cancelled/rebooked, but my persecution
consists of having my plane de-iced with orange Jello slime and my luggage
not making the connection in Hellanta. Pull into my driveway at 5:30 with
that "did this weekend really occur?" feeling!
So yes, I enthusiastically recommend Smoky Mountain Christmas. It's a crazy
time of year, I almost did not make it myself; but maybe plan now for next
year? You will have a good time. Thanks for reading and be gentle;
remember, I'm a virgin poster here :-) Merry Christmas to all, and to all
a good night.
-Tom
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